Leadership often comes with an unspoken expectation: that you should have answers, anticipate problems, and maintain control. At all times, over everything.

‍When things go wrong, the instinct is to tighten your grip. Double down on decisions. Push harder.‍

But, much of what happens in business - and in life - is outside your control. Competitor activity, the economy, a client’s mood, team dynamics - you can’t manage it all. And trying to can lead to burnout, frustration, and wasted energy.

The most effective leaders don’t try to control everything. They get clear on what they can control, where they can influence, and what they need to let go of.

Let’s talk about a handy framework that I often use in my workshops.

The psychology behind control

The odd-sounding concept of locus of control (the word “locus” is from the Latin for "place" or "location") describes how much control people believe they have over their lives.

• Those with an internal locus believe their actions shape outcomes.
• Those with an external locus believe their fate is largely determined by outside forces.

Research shows that people with an internal locus tend to be more proactive, resilient, and effective - especially in leadership roles.

When leaders spend too much time worrying about things outside their control, they drain their cognitive capacity. It creates decision fatigue: your brain has a limited supply of mental energy each day. Spend it in the wrong places, and you won’t have enough left for what matters.

Here are a few examples that illustrate the difference between an internal and external locus of control:

Internal Locus of Control: “I shape my outcomes.”

• A marketing leader sees a campaign underperforming and says: “We missed the mark on the messaging - let’s test new angles and iterate.” (What can we do differently?)
• A team misses a product launch deadline, and the product lead says: “I didn’t get ahead of the risks early enough - next time I’ll build in a buffer and set clearer milestones.” (Owning the result and improving the process.)
• A CEO hears that morale is low and thinks: “What signals might I be sending? Have I been communicating enough?” (Looking inward before pointing fingers.)

External Locus of Control: “Things happen to me.”

• A sales manager blames poor results on the market, saying: “There’s nothing we can do - clients just aren’t spending right now.” (Circumstances, not choices.)
• A team isn’t aligned on priorities, and a department head says: “Well, the exec team never gives us enough direction anyway.” (What others aren’t doing.)
• A leader feels sidelined in a decision and concludes: “Politics always get in the way here - there’s no point in speaking up. (Resignation, not responsibility.)

These examples show how mindset shapes behaviour. Leaders with an internal locus tend to act. Leaders with an external locus tend to wait, blame, or disengage.

The three-circle model

Stephen Covey added to this idea with his Circles of Concern and Influence, encouraging people to focus on what they can impact.

Covey developed the Circles of Concern and Influence model as part of his broader framework for personal effectiveness, which he introduced in his landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

The Circles model was designed to support Habit 1: Be Proactive, which he described as the foundation of personal leadership. Being proactive, in Covey’s terms, doesn’t just mean taking initiative - it means recognising that you are responsible for your own response to what happens around you.

Covey was heavily influenced by Victor Frankl, the psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, who wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning that between stimulus and response, there is a space—and in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.

Covey introduced two conceptual zones:

• Circle of Concern: All the things you care about or worry about - health, the economy, other people’s decisions, politics.
• Circle of Influence: The things you can actually affect - your habits, your decisions, your relationships.

His insight was simple but powerful:

• Proactive people focus their energy on their Circle of Influence.
• Reactive people focus on their Circle of Concern.

Over time, those who focus on their Circle of Influence expand it - because they build credibility, capability, and trust.

Those who dwell in their Circle of Concern see their influence shrink - because they appear passive, frustrated, or disengaged.

We can take it one step further, with a third circle that sharpens the model and makes it more actionable.

The third circle - Circle of Control - is not in Covey’s original model, but has since been added by many practitioners to help further distinguish:

• What we fully control (our thoughts, behaviours, priorities)
• What we can influence (relationships, team dynamics, decision-making)
• What we can only worry about (everything else)

Using the framework

Covey’s model became so widely adopted because it provides a simple visual way to reframe stress, responsibility, and agency. It bridges philosophy, psychology, and productivity - and invites people to lead from the inside out.

1. Circle of Control

You’ve got the wheel here. The things you directly manage:

• Your behaviour
• Your mindset
• Your time and priorities
• How you communicate
• The attitude you bring

When things feel chaotic, start here. What can you do?

2. Circle of Influence‍

These are areas you don’t control outright, but you can shape:

• Your team's engagement and performance
• Relationships with stakeholders or peers
• Customer satisfaction
• Cultural norms

You can’t force someone to change. But you can influence them through how you show up, what you reinforce, and how you lead.

3. Circle of Concern‍

Everything else. The things you care about, but can’t change directly:

• Market conditions
• Company-wide decisions
• Other people's opinions
• Boardroom politics

You can stay informed. You can adapt. But if you spend all your energy here, you’ll get stuck in frustration.

Here’s how to apply the three-circle model to your leadership:

In a crisis: Zoom into your circle of control. It’s the fastest way to find calm and agency.

In coaching conversations: Help team members map out their circles. Most people are more empowered than they think.

In planning: Ask, “What’s in our control? Where can we influence outcomes? What do we need to let go of?”

In team retrospectives: Reflect on where energy has been spent—and what results that created.

Over time, focusing on control and influence tends to expand your influence. You build trust, capability, and results - and that changes what’s possible.

Most teams don’t suffer from a lack of effort. They suffer from diffused effort - energy scattered across things they can’t change. This model helps them come back to what can move the needle.

Your leadership challenge

Think of one issue right now that’s eating up your energy.

Ask yourself:

• What’s in my control?
• Where could I influence things with a conversation, a better process, or a clearer message?
• What do I need to stop obsessing over?

The best leaders don’t try to manage the whole system. They stay focused on the parts they can shape.

Control. Influence. Let go. That’s where clarity lives.